Deflecting emotion is tough to do but when it comes to breaking up, if you’re on the receiving end then it’s something you must learn to do.

How serious are you about making up with your ex? If you are honest with yourself then there are just two ways you can go. If your feelings are strong and you want them back, then you’ll need to behave in the appropriate manner, not because you have but simply because how you react to being dumped will have either the right or wrong consequences in your quest for reconciliation.

Learn To Deflect Emotional Torpedos

When you are on the receiving end of a break up, the gambit of human emotions which infiltrate one's psyche are numerous. In The Magic Of Making Up, T W Jackson describes this initial flurry of emotions as a type of temporary insanity and let's face it, it is.

People will do desperate things after being spurned especially if they still have strong feelings for their ex.

That's fine - if the break up is not as a result of anything you did or didn't do then you've got every reason to feel a little miffed but the reality is, that's where it should stop.

In The Magic Of Making Up, Jackson says the first thing you need to do is virtually become a human forcefield - that is, you've just had a "photon ray" fired at you and whether it's meant to hurt you or not, you need to be strong enough to deflect it away.

Understanding Why You’re Being Dumped

Again, when your mind is ravaged with emotion reasoning is something that gets pushed to the back of the queu and gets buried. You have to bring reasoning back to the front of the queu and apply it.

You'll have a million reasons running through your mind right now but be serious, do you really know why your partner said it's over?

This is the first question you’ve got to ask yourself. Sure, you can make assumptions – they are seeing someone else, you’ve been an unnattentive partner or you are simply a slob around around the house and they’ve reached breaking pint.

But the fact remains, you are not sure and flying off the handle and shooting before you know the facts is not going to leave you in a good light when the dust settles.

By demanding a reason now, your behavior is likely to be deemed ugly and doing nothing in the way of convincing your ex they've made a mistake.

Agree With The Break Up

Just agree with the break up and walk away. This is a powerful move on your part. But what happens if you've already done all the silly things - the arguments, the terror text messaging and drunken phone calls?

According to Jackson, you're still in the ball game in winning back your ex. If you're at this stage, just write a short note and say something like…"You know what, I behaved unacceptably and you're absolutely right, a break up is just what the doctor ordered…" or something similar.

In a sense, it's your opening move. It's described as a "crossing over to the opposition's side" in The Magic Of Making Up. You're putting yourself on your ex partner's side.