For some of us , meeting guys is easy. For others – not so much. Easy or not – for most of us , the hardest part of the dating dynamic is KEEPING the man once you have met him and gone out a few times. Many women fall into a pattern, without even realizing, that drives men away from them and kills the attraction between them.

Some of the things that women do, thinking it will bring their man closer, are the things that will drive him away. I have learned reading dating tips for women from Christian Carter that one of these things is treating him like you are one of the guys, or a buddy. Men want a WOMAN, not another pal. Instead, be your own person, have your own interests that are separate from his and explore them.

Second, acting needy or clingy – appearing hurt or vulnerable in order to get some attention will only drive him away. Be strong, independent and vital! Men LOVE women who love life.

The third things many girls do in order to keep a man is to do things for him. You cook, do laundry, buy him things, make him things, whatever it may be, in order to get his approval and show your worth. Every man already has a mother – he does not need a second one.

Now – those were three fast and furious pieces of dating advice for women on what NOT to do that every woman should know. Now – let’s focus on some positive things you can also do to help maintain that level of natural and lasting attraction between you and your man.

One of the things I must ask before I begin, though, is this – have you figured out yet that the only thing YOU can CONTROL is YOU? Let me repeat that. The only thing in life that you are completely able to control is yourself. Therefore, if you want to give your all to a relationship and do everything YOU can do to get your guy to commit, you must realize that these things all center around your own behavior – not controlling his.

The first step you need to take is to take all your attitude, judgments, and expectations about your partner and the relationship you have and LET THEM GO. Your relationship with him, at this point (and any point, really) IS what it IS. No more, no less. It is pointless to feel anger, frustration, jealousy or any other negative emotions wishing for something that is not there. All you can do is takes steps to improve the situation, you cannot force him to love you or commit to you.

Second, spend some time walking a mile in his shoes. What matters to him most? Where is he at in his life, what does he want or want to become? What does he want from YOU?

The final step is to make that transition from thinking ABOUT him to trying to think LIKE him, knowing the things you know. Try to imagine yourself as him, reacting to the things YOU do, and how those things make you feel. What are his fears? What does he care about or want to avoid with YOU?

Thinking outside of your “box” will help you relate to him, see how your own actions affect him and your relationship, as well as grow as a person. Learning from Christian Carter’s dating advice for women and his Natural and Lasting Attraction program will help YOU to create the bond and relationship with your man that you have been dreaming about!