February 22, 2009
How To Save Your Marriage From Infidelity - Get Important Tips
Sometimes, while strolling down the marital pathway, spouses tend to lose track of each other without being alarmed. Somehow we tend to carry on with the belief that infidelity is something that will never occur in our marriage. Yet, the fact is that as per the latest statistics, 40 percent of women and 60 percent of men are most likely to engage in an extramarital affair at some time or other in their lives.
Telltale Signs of Infidelity
Spouses engaging in infidelity often exhibit a marked shift of focus in their everyday life. They get so attached to the other person in their life that they tend to pursue this new-found engagement with a single-minded sense of devotion. Often it has been observed that the infidel spouses shift their entire focus and emotional energy away from their children, spouse and career to their affair relationship.
In case of infidel spouses, the object of their extramarital devotion is constantly on their minds. The gravitation towards the other person is often so strong that the issues of responsibility, sincerity and faithfulness take a backstage in their scheme of priorities. So if you find that your spouse is recently being callous and negligent of his or her duties as a parent and spouse, chances are that perhaps he or she may be having an extramarital affair.
Reaction of the Faithful Spouse
Infidelity is certainly one of the most damaging things that can happen to a marriage. The faithful spouses often have to face a very painful situation. The extremely devastating emotional impact of infidelity may leave behind wounds that may take a long time to heal. Most of the times, the suffering spouses tend to go in a denial mode. They simply refuse to acknowledge that their life partner has betrayed them for somebody else.
However, as the profound sense of reality comes to seep in, it often gives way to a feeling of rage. One finds oneself completely incapable of coming to terms with this horrid phenomenon that is bent on depriving him or her of their sense of security and peace of mind. Things get further complicated by the notion of being personally rejected and disposed of for somebody else.
Reaction of the Unfaithful Spouse
The spouse found guilty of infidelity has to deal with the feelings of guilt. He or she is aware of the fact that the behaviour he or she is resorting to is frowned upon by society and is not conducive to his or her marital life. However, this moral and religious personal catechism is many a time halted by the sense of devotion towards and pleasure solicited through the new romantic involvement. The guilty spouse may resort to a variety of measures to overcome his or her dilemma. He or she may try to deny the accusations of infidelity. Often the unfaithful spouse pretends to be the victim of a lousy marriage and tends to demonize the faithful spouse so as to justify his or her unfaithful behaviour.
Why do Extramarital Affairs Happen?
Each extramarital affair is unique in itself and may have a variety of reasons responsible for its genesis. Many extramarital affairs are the result of a lack of intimacy and communication in the marriage. Sometimes, the underlying reasons may be the addictive tendencies and sexual confusion of the errant spouse.
People may opt for an extramarital affair to quench their thirst for drama and excitement. Affirming personal desirability is one of the major causes of infidelity. Temptation for pleasure and sexual gratification may also prove to be a cause of infidelity. Many a time people go for an extramarital affair to exit from an unhappy marriage.
How to Save Your Marriage from Infidelity
In case you want your marriage to survive an episode of infidelity, the first thing to do is to sort out your feelings of anger, hurt and resentment. It may prove to be difficult, but somehow you will have to purge yourself of these emotions to make a new start. Infidelity may prove to be an opportunity to reinvent your life and marriage in ways that usher in respect, happiness and real intimacy.
Communicate sincerely, openly and truthfully with your partner. Try to locate the possible reasons that led to this episode and honestly allocate the responsibilities for this error. In case your spouse apologizes for his or her actions, be ready to forgive and forget. Ultimately you will have to give him or her a chance to restore that intimacy and trust that existed between you two.
Chances are that your openness and tactfulness may make your spouse turn away from his or her mistake and return to his or her family with a renewed sense of sincerity and dedication.
If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see save marriage and marriage infidelity.
Also read about emotional freedom technique, because it has helped many people to restore the emotional balance.
Filed under Marriage Help by Sid

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